| One Liner |
| Can atheists get insurance for acts of God? |
| If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it FedUP? |
| Does fuzzy logic tickle? |
| If they arrested the Energizer Bunny, would they charge it with battery? |
| I believe five out of four people have trouble with fractions. |
| How come you never hear about gruntled employees? |
| I don't have a solution, but I admire your problem. |
| Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines |
| Doing a job RIGHT the first time gets the job done. Doing the job WRONG fourteen times gives you job security |
| Artificial Intelligence is no match for Natural Stupidity |
| A person who smiles in the face of adversity...probably has a scapegoat. |
| If you can stay calm, while all around you is chaos...then you probably haven't completely understood the situation. |
| Never put off until tomorrow what you can avoid altogether. |
| TEAMWORK...means never having to take all the blame yourself. |
| The beatings will continue until morale improves. |
| Never underestimate the power of very stupid people in large groups. |
| We waste time, so you don't have to. |
| Hang in there, retirement is only thirty years away! |
| A snooze button is a poor substitute for no alarm clock at all. |
| When the going gets tough, the tough take a coffee break. |
| INDECISION is the key to FLEXIBILITY. |
| Aim Low, Reach Your Goals, Avoid Disappointment. |
| We waste more time by 8:00 in the morning than other companies do all day. |
| You pretend to work, and we'll pretend to pay you. |
| Work: It isn't just for sleeping anymore. |
|